Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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