On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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