I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
