I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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