So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
