i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
