champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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