I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
