$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
