I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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