apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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