She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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