Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Enjoy the penises
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
