im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
