i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
