So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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