Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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