If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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