he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
