Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
