Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So here I am, sexting at work.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
