Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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