I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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