So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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