i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
