Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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