if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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