I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
