Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
