I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
