I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if only i could text you this smell
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
