On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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