I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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