Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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