My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
