he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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