Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
