can we get nightvision for the apartment?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
