I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
