billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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