Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
