Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think your dad took our porno
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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