i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
