"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
