Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
