Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
