what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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