can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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