he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize