I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Two words: blizzard sex
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
