Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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