how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
