I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
