he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
