He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
