so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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