Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
