Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
