I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
