what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
