people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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