Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Randomize
