OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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