If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
