Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
