He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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