i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Drunk is not a location!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
