good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize