respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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